A Sudden Loss

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A Sudden Loss

Postby Roga » Fri Aug 14, 2020 8:16 am

Hi all. It's Padme here.

By now, most of you have probably already heard about Roga. I don't quite know
where to start, so I guess I'll just start on August 9th, 2020. I had just started
cooking some eggs and English muffins, when Roga called to my son from our master
bedroom. My son came into the kitchen and grabbed some aspirin from the cupboard.
When the eggs had finished cooking, Roga came into the kitchen and said, "I wasn't
feeling very well this morning, but I'm feeling much better now. Whatcha making? And where's mine?"

And I said, "You don't even like over-hard eggs! I can make you some over-easy eggs."

And he said dejectedly, "It's all right. I can make my own."

That caused me to stop for a second, and I almost insisted on doing it for him, but
that stupid yard work needed to be done. And so I quickly ate and left to work on the yard with my son.
He was going to edge while I mowed, but I couldn't even finish mowing. My son was like,
"Mom, you forgot that side."

And I said, "No, I have to go inside." So, he said, "Fine," and he took the lawnmower
to finish the yard. But he asked me, "How am I going to get in when I finish?"

Well, we have previously lost two lawn mowers due to them being stolen, and one had been
left outside for less than 5 minutes! So, I told him that he could have the garage
door opener that I had clipped to my pants. And he said, "Nah, I'm good." So I said, "I
could open the door for him."

So I sat on the stairs by the master bedroom for awhile. I had thought that maybe
Roga had gone upstairs to play Sloth or something. But I did notice the dishwasher
going - Roga had filled up the dishwasher and was doing the dishes for me. And well,
you have to understand, this is like a rare occurrence for Roga, and so that simple act
was like him doing something special for me. And I actually thought this, and I also
thought that he couldn't really be that sick if he was doing the dishes!

Eventually I went into the garage, opened the garage door, and waited for my son.
Soon, Roga came into the garage. And I asked him, "What are you doing here?" And Roga
told me that [our son] had asked him to open the garage door. And I said, "How?"

"He knocked on the front door." And I said, "But I have already opened the garage door."
And he said, "Yeah, but [our son] doesn't know that."

And as my son was coming around to the back of the house, I started to move toward him, and Roga, flicked the garage door opener. You know, like he made it come down a little bit and then back up.
And I turned to him and said, "Now he's going think" and Roga just started laughing.

He was still laughing when my son and I came to him and were about to go into the house.
He laughingly said, "You should have seen your mom. She had a conniption fit. She thought
that I was going to close the garage door on her."

And I said, "I did not." But I am forever grateful that my son knocked on that door,
and that Roga came out to the garage, cuz this was the last time that I got to hear Roga
laugh.

I had to lay down. I get so fatigued way to easily these days - and it's not just tired. It's
like truly, exhausting, bone-tired. I might have laid down for 3 or 4 hours, but I had
to get up when I started to feel like it was getting a little difficult to breath -
smoke does that to me. And so I went downstairs, and Roga was cooking chicken thighs in
the oven. And I said, "Could you please tell me when you cook in the oven next time? So I can shut
the door to my room upstairs, cuz the smoke from the oven just goes right into my room."

And Roga said, "You can smell the smoke from the oven? Riiight." And the timer went off,
and I said, "Oh, is the chicken done already?" And he said, "No." And as I turned to leave
to go back upstairs, I heard him say, "Maybe I'll broil them for 10 minutes."

This was the last time I saw Roga alive. My son would take me up two chicken thighs that
my husband had cooked just for me - because I still am not used to spicy food. And
both he and my son love spicy foods. Roga, who doesn't often cook for me, had made
me our last meal together (even though we ate our meals in separate rooms. But Roga
had taken the time to make mine).

After eating, I rested some more and around 7 pm,
I went outside to mow the backyard and to try and cut the weed bushes. I bagged up the dog poop,
finished the mowing, and cut a few of the weed bushes before I started feeling nauseous.
I asked my son to open the garage door so that I could put the lawnmower away. When he
was ready to shut the garage door, he asked if he could let the dog out back. And I said,
"Sure." So, I started to lock the back gate, but then I remembered the bagged dog poop. So I
just grabbed it and threw it in the driveway, because I was afraid that I
couldn't make it to the garbage can and back inside the gate before my son let the
dog out. And if I didn't, the dog would have a chance to escape - and when that happens,
he quickly runs a half mile away easily, and it usually takes a team effort to get him
back home again.

Anyway, I just went upstairs and laid down. I don't remember exactly what time I
actually fell asleep. But I was awaken before 4 am by the tv in the master bedroom.
Soon, I went to check on Roga and found him dead.

And so, you know about as much as I do, and I still haven't been told the cause of death.
I've known Roga for 28 years and have been married to him for 26 of those years. I have
known Roga through The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (incidentally, that was a movie he
liked to watch). Here's what some of his coworkers said about the real life Roga:

[Roga] was really, really smart, always optimistic, and really sure that they were going
to win a proposal or program. [Roga] was very friendly. Instead of telling you, he would show
you. He was a well-rounded guy. He was always ready to help and would take the effort to help.

Our two daughters and son have often seen Roga playing Sloth, but they don't understand our
love for the game. So now I have a request for all of you. Could you write something about
Roga? Maybe why you like grouping with him or maybe tell about the time he helped you get
that piece of equipment or spellbook? Or maybe how somehow he made the game special for
you? Or I don't know - just come up with something.

I'm seriously sleep deprived over here and am starting to lack the ability to even think!

Thanks all,
Padme.
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Ker » Fri Aug 14, 2020 1:04 pm

Hey P,

Sorry for your loss. Roga was a cool dude. RIP. Be strong for the kids#Roga
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Hung » Fri Aug 14, 2020 1:08 pm

Hello Padme,
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I havent been actively playing for the last 3 years I think. So I can't contribute any game related story.
However recently I've started a SlothMUD discord server.
Roga was first to join and we had small chat: https://imgur.com/SaGHNWL
I am very sorry again.
Yang/Hippo/Kid/Diogenes
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Driven » Fri Aug 14, 2020 10:33 pm

Padme, I am sorry for you and your son's loss. Roga was an important part of Sloth and he will be missed. Last fall I took 4 months off to focus on my ministry, and when I came back in the new year, Roga was quick to welcome me back, telling me that he was glad I was back. He was also tremendously encouraging to me in the work that I do as an immortal, which mattered a lot to me. When you said that his coworkers describe him as always friendly, looking to help, that matched exactly my impression of him on Sloth. Roga will be missed greatly!
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Gorka » Sat Aug 15, 2020 5:20 am

Padme,

I wish I had something eloquent to say, but the words I write don't seem to express it, and all I have is this quiet dull sort of inexpressible numbness and surprise/disbelief. I liked Roga, as you know, for a time most of his eq was mine, and I was more than happy to do that for him. It's known that I tend to hold people to high standards and that's one thing I appreciated about Roga, he never disappointed. I sensed true character in him, he was a smart player - but never lorded it over people, he had an intelligent sense of humor, and in most cases even though he was paying more attention and more capable than most players in a group he just silently and dependably contributed when those around him were failing. I don't think I ever heard him blame or fault another person even while perfectly aware of the situation. I noticed, and I appreciated him for it. I sense your disbelief and your loss, and I wish you well and I hope your friends and family can be there for you in a way that we can't. I think Roga was a very likable guy and the MUD has surely lost a valuable member of the community and we are sorry to hear about this.
Gimme a G! Gimme a ORKA!
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Gorka » Sat Aug 15, 2020 5:55 am

Would it be possible to put a small tribute to Roga in game like we did for Taron... Idjit? IDJIT!!!

My idea would be his name and likeness as an NPC in a room in Lyme Volcano...

(Brilliant Blue Aura) A mighty warrior with a large scimitar surveils the surrounding area.

Roga says 'What's that up in the road, A HEAD?'

l warrior (Maybe Padme could write a small description for those who did not know him)
Gimme a G! Gimme a ORKA!
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Roga » Sat Aug 15, 2020 6:16 am

Hi again, it's Padme.

I cannot create my own account due to not even being able to correctly identify the avatar skills, and it's too stressful for me, so you'll all have to bear with me while I continue to use Roga's account.

Thank you so much for all your words, Ker, Hung, Driven, and Gorka. I am really grateful that you posted them. Thanks! And Gorka? You are going to make me cry! Thanks again, all.

Padme
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Roga » Sat Aug 15, 2020 6:57 am

Padme here.

To those of you who had never met Roga or only knew a little bit about him:

Roga first started playing as Sirus in Sloth I and as Roga in Sloth II and Sloth IV. He always played a
prime warrior character. In the beginning of his Sloth career, he dreamed of becoming an immortal -
creating his own area and mobs and having a temple where you could worship him. Lately, he had been
talking about rebirthing and about how powerful he would become: how much ac he would have, how many
hitpoints, etc. He was so looking forward to it.

Ok, that's about all I can write (crying too much over here and I need to rest); I'm sorry.

Padme.
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Nyx » Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:08 am

I am so sorry for your loss.

Whenever I joined a group with Roga, he always had a smile or friendly gesture to say hello to me. It sounds so silly but that little thing would brighten up my day a little. He was quiet but funny. I will miss his corny 'dad joke' scripts, especially the "cursing".

One of the quests recently was held at some ungodly time of day (I live on the other side of the world). At one point I unintentionally nodded off and I woke up to find myself away from the group. I saw a number of tells on my screen from Roga trying to get my attention and giving me updated directions to guide me back. I was touched he noticed I was missing and was looking out for me.

I didn't know Roga well, but the glimpses I saw give me a good idea of the man he was outside of the game and the enormity of your loss. I hope we can give you some comfort during this time. You and your family are in our thoughts.
Beatrix, Necroess Extraordinaire.
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Roga » Sat Aug 15, 2020 10:53 am

Thank you so much, Beatrix.

And now I have to give a shout out to Zeke. I am forever grateful for having met Zeke. He is so amazing and has helped me tremendously throughout all this. Thank you so much, Zeke! He has comforted me, given me advice, and has even been able to keep my mind off the situation for a little while. He has been a godsend, and I can't ever thank him enough.

Ok, I'll stop embarrassing you now, Zeke. Thank you again so much for everything!

Padme.
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Ezekiel » Sat Aug 15, 2020 4:18 pm

Hey Padme,

Again, so sorry for your loss. Roga was a great mudder and just fun to be around. He had tanked for groups I was trying to start countless times when there were no other tanks on, all for the mud's benefit. From your personal account of him, he sounds like he was as much a joker in real life as he was when I would talk to him on the game. I know he loved the game by the amount of time he would put in, like the rest of we addicts, and I know he was looking forward to rebirth. I really do hope we get a memorial placed in a room for him, hopefully somewhere he used to frequent often.

From your personal accounts of his co-workers, it sounds like those who had any close contact to him seemed to recognize the same we did in him, he had drive and passion for what he committed to.

I'm glad to be here for ya in any way I can during this tough time. I've enjoyed the conversations, and it's not a problem about advice. You've always been a great friend to me. I am glad you have people around you, both from a distance and at home, for support- as these definitely are turbulent times for ya. I wish you the best for you and your family.

Sincerely, Zeke
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Padme » Sun Aug 16, 2020 5:00 am

Hi, you all.

You will see me playing again, but only with Zeke - unless I'm putting my equipment away to rent
or something. Sloth has always been my escape from reality, and Zeke understands how much I need
Sloth, especially right now. Zeke is my lifeline, while I am caught in this riptide.

So, I want to apologize in advance if I miss any of you trying to reach out to give support, any of
your words of comfort. I apologize for not acknowledging you or even saying hi to you. But right now,
I only see Zeke, I am only focused on Zeke. I cling to him for fear of losing my lifeline, because losing
a lifeline while in a riptide is not good.

Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Padme.
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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Kida » Tue Aug 18, 2020 4:24 pm

Hi Padme,

I feel extremely sorry for your loss.

I have just returned to Sloth recently after a break of more than 7 years and I was happy to join the group where Roga tanked probably for the last time in his life. It was a shock for me to know the sorrow news soon after this night. Please keep fighting, stay strong for Roga, for your kids, for all you have created together as a family. We all keep the good memories of Roga's personality, his way of living and having fun with us.

Rest in peace, Roga.


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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Padme » Tue Aug 18, 2020 4:58 pm

Thanks Edd/Kida!

To be in the group where Roga tanked for the last time? I'm so jealous, Edd/Kida! I'm glad yu met him, even if it was just for that brief moment in time. Now, you have an image to go with his name! Thanks again for writing, Edd/Kida! It is very much appreciated.

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Re: A Sudden Loss

Postby Padme » Tue Aug 18, 2020 5:01 pm

Thank you for your kind words, Zeke, and likewise as well.

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