post a random joke

[Leaf]

its funny how much love Jason and I share! Reb is jealous!

[brady]

A jubilant group of minstrels, mages and morphers gathered behind the fierce Firebrand. It seems she needed at least 30 to explore the forboding land of Theris. Afer slaying the Forgiveness Juggernaut a silence fell heavy across the land, much like a wet blanket. It seemed the intrepid leader fell victim to a bowl of chicken soup. The end.

[Autolycos]

lmfao... that was funny!

of course the joke is that there is NFW way firebrand's group could kill a mob, she normally cf's in theris

[Shazuko]

Two families moved from Afghanistan to America. When they arrived, the two
fathers made a bet -- in a year's time whichever family had become more
Americanized would win.

A year later they meet.

The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast,
and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"

The second man replies, "**** you, towel head."

[resouh]

Three men were hiking when they came upon a raging river. Not knowing how to get across the first one raises his arms and prays 'Dear god, Please give me the strength to cross this river'. Poof, his arms and legs grow strong and muscular and he proceeds to swim across the river. After 2 hours and almost drowning twice he makes it across.

The second man seeing what happened, raised his arms to the sky and prayed 'Dear god, Please give me the strength and tools to cross the river'. Poof, a rowboat appears and the man makes it across the river in an hour after almost capsizing once.

The third man having seen what his partners have done raises his arms to the sky and prays 'Dear god, please give me the strength, tools, and intellegence to cross the river'. Poof, he turns in to a woman, reads the map, and hikes the 200 yards up river to the bridge.

Resouh

[Jag]

A mudder with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

[firebrand]

Subject: Dr. Appt.

Last week, my wife and I went to the Doctor for our annual physical. After
the doctor examined me he said, 'You appear to be in good health Bob. Do you
have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do,' I said, 'After I have sex with Jane my wife, the first time
I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second
time, I am usually cold and chilly.'

The Doctor said that he had never heard of those symptoms even though he was
impressed with my ability to perform twice at my late age, but that he would
research in his medical books.

He then called in Jane and after examining her he said,'Everything appears to
be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss
with me?'

Jane replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then asked her, 'You know Bob has an unusual concern. He tells me
that he is usually hot and sweaty when he has sex with you the first time,
and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you have any idea of why
this is happening?'

'Oh that crazy old fellow' Jane replied. 'That's because the first time is
usually in July and the second time is in December !!'

[firebrand]

WARNING FROM THE MIDDLE EAST! This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States, "that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will":

1. Cut off America 's supply of convenience store managers, and possible candidates for President of the United States .

2. If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps, and then Motel 6 managers.

It's getting ugly out there....

[PolkAdotS]

Why is it, lightning never strikes in the same place twice?
ignorant answer here>

[Yinao]

Funny Joke:

Polk quit! in his vault and lost his eq...

Post ignorant comment from PolkADotS above ^^

[PolkAdotS]

So there's this morom cab driver, picks up his fair. The man he picks up says something to the effect of a religious discussion topic. You all know how cab drivers are, so the cabbie pipes up, says to the guy...
Hey, what religion are you? I'm personally a mormon, I used to be part of the hierarchy of that religion but I had to start driving this cab because I lost my standing with it.

The fair says 'Why?' ::

The mormon cab-driver simply says, well in the religion the Men believe the women aren't allowed to enter heaven without their approval so, I started driving this cab after I bumped off my wife.

The fair decides 'Man you are nuts, why would you do that?'

The driver just nods, says 'No reason really, I just figured I should let her wait outside until I had the chance to die, so when I get there I can tell her well I really just didn't like you that much.'

[*juggleblood*]

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Dam

[Alberich]

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object only to find a little old Jew at a small stand selling neckties.

The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?' The Jew replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.00.

The Taliban shouted, 'Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first.'

'OK,' said the old Jew, 'it does not matter that you don't want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.'

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back.

'Your ******* brother won't let me in without a tie.'

[firebrand]

[color=red:3src2tap] Subject: Mississippi Wal-Marts Run Out of Ammo!!!

This just in...

All of the Wal-Marts across Mississippi sold out of ammunition
as of late yesterday.
A reliable source said that one of the purchasers, an elderly
gentleman from Yazoo City who would only give his first name
as 'Bubba', commented that while Russia may have invaded
Georgia, they sure as heck better not mess with Mississippi.[/color:3src2tap]

"i'll bet you twenty dollars i can get you gambling before the day is out!" -lloyd --> dumb & dumber

[*juggleblood*]

Smoking in the Rain

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"


The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."