post a random joke

[firebrand]

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy" , she yelled, "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10".

See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
"Very good" , said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy" ?
"Yes, it's because you're blonde", her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy, " she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G".

See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!
"Very good", said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy"?
"Yes pumpkin, it's because you're blonde".

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy", she yelled, "we were in gym class today and when we showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good" , said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy" ?
"No, it's because you're 25."


"one and one is two, two and two is four and five will get you ten if you know how to work it." --flower belle lee --> my little chickadee

[firebrand]

How all American business phones SHOULD be answered!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA .

Press "1" for English.

Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English.


"i think i bent my b-b-b-b-beak!" --boomer --> fox and the hound

[Leaf]

Thats not a Joke Reb, that should be a FACT!!!

I hate calling some company (Cable, Phone, Drs) and they say press 1
for English. They shouldn't even offer that option!

[firebrand]

agreed.

"dude! where's my car?" -->jesse --> dude, where's my car?

[Akasha]

Sadly, I've met people who have traveled abroad to other countries and came home complaining that "I'm a visitor there, they should be respectful hosts and learn to speak english."

I guess american arrogance has no bounds.

Akasha

[Autolycos]

indeed

[Shazuko]

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?

A: The 10-year old in my trunk.


Shazuko Roku Ryuu
Shazuko Six Dragons
<~Chaos~>

[tincts]

[quote="firebrand":3n4t7ogp]How all American business phones SHOULD be answered!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA .

Press "1" for English.

Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English.
[/quote:3n4t7ogp]
Shouldn't you all be speaking American Indian then? (Like we aussies should be speaking Australian Aboriginal?)

[Weasel]

blame the destruction of the tower of babel.

[firebrand]

*sigh* obviously no one noticed the title of this thread, which happens to be post a random JOKE. jeez, ppl lighten up.

Autolycos:
Will you please state your age?

Leaf:
I am 86 years old.

Autolycos:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Leaf:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Autolycos:
What happened after he sat down?

Leaf:
He started to rub my thigh.

Autolycos:
Did you stop him?

Leaf:
No, I didn't stop him.

Autolycos:
Why not?

Leaf:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Autolycos:
What happened next?

Leaf:
He began to rub my breasts.

Autolycos:
Did you stop him then?

Leaf:
No, I did not stop him.

Autolycos:
Why not?

Leaf:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Autolycos:
What happened next?

Leaf:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Autolycos:
Did he take you?

Leaf:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.


"it's not the years honey, it's the mileage" --indiana jones - raiders of the lost ark

[firebrand]

[color=violet:22tkwa9r]autolycos is really worried about his health, and is waiting nervously in the hallway at the infirmary of farlorne while a team of mad doctors gathers together to consult about his case.

all the doctors retire to another room to discuss his condition, but autolycos has hidden his nephew, little will, in a closet in the room to listen. then will is supposed to report to him what the truth of the situation is.

after a few minutes, will escapes and runs back to uncle autolycos.

"quick, will," asks autolycos in a gruff voice, "what did those quacks say?"

"i cannot say for sure," reports will. "i listened hard, but they used such big words, i can't remember much of it. but i do remember one thing."

"tell me!" cries autolycos. "what is it?"

"well," says will, "they said, `we will find out everything at the autopsy!'"[/color:22tkwa9r]

"are you a politician, or does lying just run in your family?" -idgie threadgoode --> fried green tomatoes

[Corinn]

snore

[firebrand]

[quote="Corinn":mj4jp3g0]snore[/quote:mj4jp3g0] darlin, if you find this one unfunny, perhaps you can post a better one......after all, that is why i started this thread in the first place!


"it's like your aunt edna's ass. it goes on forever and it's just as frightening." --frank -->parenthood

[12345]

[quote:25oixfk6][b:25oixfk6]Hades[/b:25oixfk6]
[size=75:25oixfk6]Double 40 Poster[/size:25oixfk6]
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[size=75:25oixfk6]Joined: May 30, 2005
Posts: 210[/size:25oixfk6][/quote:25oixfk6]

[Autolycos]

now THAT is funny!