Microsoft Acquires England

Microsoft is pleased to announce the acquisition of England (tm), a leading country. England will bring many competitive advantages to Microsoft including the world's leading language, some prime real estate, and a strong military.

Microsoft has announced plans to continue offering England's products in America and abroad, with some minor changes to the license terms.
These changes include:

English (tm) will no longer be made available on a Public Domain basis. All users of English (tm) must register with Microsoft. A trial version of English (tm) will be made available with a limited vocabulary.
Crumpets will be promoted as a new industry standard for lunch. All Microsoft products will fully support Crumpets At Work (CAW).
Other changes will be announced in the near future.